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DECADE

DECADE

A DECADE AGO WE ALMOST LOST EVERYTHING;
THE ROPE WE HAD PULLING ALONG OUR FAMILY WAS BREAKING

UNRAVELING RIGHT BEFORE MY OWN TWO EYES;
WAS A MAN WHO COULD NO LONGER HEAR HIS FAMILIES CRIES

TO SEEK HELP AND BRING AN END TO THE DARKNESS;
WE NEEDED YOU TO COME BACK, AND PULL US OUT OF THE EMPTINESS

ONCE AGAIN WITH YOUR LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING;
WE WAITED FOR YOU TO COME OUT OF HIDING

FOR A MOMENT IT SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE NEVER COMING BACK;
I DID THE BEST I COULD TO HOLD ONTO THE ROPE AND PICK UP THE SLACK

A DECADE AGO WE WERE SO AFRAID OF LOSING YOU;
BUT YOU FOUND THE LIGHT, GRABBED THE ROPE, AND PULLED US THROUGH

 

A decade ago my father was struggling with alcohol abuse, and our family was literally being ripped apart.  I wrote this poem on his 10th anniversary of being sober.  I blamed myself for many of the events that happened just prior and after the events that unfolded ten years ago, and I have found it very difficult to completely let go of my guilt. I am afraid I will never be able to remove some of the pieces that are buried deep inside me, but I feel I have been able to remove most of it anyway. All of the guilt I felt from this and the fact I never spoke to anyone about it all, and just let it stir inside my mind led me to the Depersonalization Disorder I still have to this day. It is much more manageable than it was when I first had the strange experiences, but there are days where it still controls me.

I am grateful that you have made it this far since our darkest times as a family. I love you Dad.

 

\m/ JP Weidemoyer\m/
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